I'm 44, have a good life, a wonderful husband who I adore and I've been pretty lucky over the years. Three weeks ago my life changed quite a bit.

I woke up on a Saturday morning with a headache, not a really bad one to tell the truth, but it started me off on the wrong foot as I had been looking forward to a post-pay-day shopping trip.

Not a lot comes between me and the opportunity for retail so I went despite feeling under the weather. Wandering around M&S my headache returned so I took myself off to the Café for a pot of tea and some paracetamol. Things cleared up and I continued shopping with gusto.

After a successful mission, on arrival back at home, I opened my post. Out of the blue I had received a letter from the bank enclosing a cheque for £230 in respect of an accounting error over five years ago. Obviously enthusiastic to tell my husband about this given it's not every day the bank gives you free money, I tried to get the words out but I couldn't. I knew what I wanted to say but only rubbish came out.

This immediately rang alarm bells...I also experienced some tingling in my tongue and 2 of the fingers on my right hand went momentarily numb. Was I having a stroke?

Or was it a migraine? ...It must be a migraine......perhaps... but I have never been one to have headaches (but for the very occasional hangover-head after an over indulgence...) and I can only recall one potential migraine a few years ago.

Something instinctively told me this was not right and I was worried. This quickly escalated to panic as I recalled other things I had felt over recent weeks, things I had attributed to stress. There was nothing that stood out on its own and nothing I had assumed wouldn't simply clear up with some lifestyle and work changes, but now these things came to the fore and my mind raced.

Thud, thud, thud, thud.... I could feel my pulse rise along with the acceleration of my panic levels.

Thoughts flashed in and out of my mind. For instance, as a rule I don't get colds...yet I'd had 2 so far this year,....does this indicate I'm below par? While I was doing a less senior work role than I had done at a previous company, I was finding it hard and bothersome...why was that? My hands were very dry and my nails in poor condition – I had put that down to the effects of washing up liquid and over-use of nail polish, although hubs would argue I certainly do not over-use washing up liquid! I also occasionally felt a bit run down and tired,falling asleep in front of TV programmes I had wanted to watch. Why had I just felt numb? Why can't I get my words out? What's going on?

Thud, thud, thud continued.....The crux of it was I felt an urgency to do something about it, and feeling frightened I decided it would need to be A&E.

All the way there in the car, I convinced myself I was being daft and that I was wasting the hospital's time. I've got a vivid imagination.... I started to calm down and was all for getting my husband to turn around and go home. It was Saturday after all and we were going to have a nice meal and go to the historic motor racing at Donington tomorrow....“The chances are it's just a migraine”...”I feel a lot better now, I'm just being silly”....

Hubs said we should still go to ensure I stopped worrying – so we did.

A&E was quiet when we got there, mid-afternoon Saturday on a bank holiday weekend. I apologetically explained my symptoms to the lady on the desk and was seen within a few minutes.

The rest of the day was a blur, suffice to say my blood pressure had surged beyond all comprehension and it quickly became apparent I was not here simply for reassurance, this was serious.

I ought to say at this point I am extremely shy of doctors and nurses. I am not a regular visitor to the surgery by any stretch of the imagination and while I am quick to usher my husband there if he is unwell, I have always been one to brush my own health under the carpet.

This has been the case throughout my adult life. It has been allowed to continue that way as I have not had children (I like other people's kids but I'm about as maternal as a piece of toast), so many of the times a woman tends to come into contact with the medical profession, I have been able to remain at arms length. Other than the time I stubbed and broke my toe on a loose paving stone (also while shopping...), I have remained at distance, and my white coat syndrome has not only festered nicely but has proliferated and amplified to a fairly extreme degree.

It's not that I am ignorant of what constitutes good heath practice, it is more that there's something inherent in me that suspects I am not the healthiest person in the world, but I don’t want to confront it. That said I also have a similar fear of hairdressers and spa's...I don't like folk fussing over me!

I am overweight, but I'm relatively tall and I try to wear clothes well. Like many others in my age group, I like an alcoholic drink and while I do not drink as much as many of my peers, I am not daft enough to think that it does not have an impact on my overall health. How many 40-some-things turn to a nice bottle of wine as a kind of special reward for a hard days work? Judging by my Facebook feed – most of them!

Just because 'everyone' does it, doesn't nullify the heath risks of course but it does tend to make you rather complacent about them. The risks become more permissible as they are widely accepted.

Job-wise I've also had experience which, on the face of it, would make you assume I have slightly greater-than-average insight into health and managing risk. I started my career as a Health Claims assessor for an insurance company, reviewing medical reports to make decisions about admitting the insurers liability. I used to have to go and present challenging cases and rationale to the Chief Medical Officer, a senior hospital consultant. It was eye opening, enjoyable and because it was my job I became emotionally detached from the human realities and outcomes of it to an extent. In retrospect I do wonder that it might have influenced my behaviour in some way.

Later I became an operational and technology risk manager, delivering tools and education to embed a risk management culture within the financial services industry. My objective was to help change the culture from one of complacency to one which understands the impact and probability of the risks it faces, and employs sufficient robust controls to manage those risks within tolerance. I spent all day every day preaching the virtues of risk insight and management.

More latterly I took a career change to be Operations Manager of a holiday firm. A bit different perhaps...but I was ready for a new challenge. 

Anyway,back to the 'Day'.

It was all a blur but over the course of the afternoon I had various tests. My blood pressure taken...it was higher than sky-high. Next I had an ECG, a chest X-ray and various blood and urine tests. My fear of the medical profession was being tested to the absolute max, and my fear of what was happening only served to compound it.

“You'll be staying here overnight...we need to try and get your blood pressure down” came the verdict....my reaction to which was more chest thudding. I've never been in hospital before....What about our day out tomorrow? I haven’t brought anything...I have no clean pants! I didn't say all of that out loud of course but nonetheless clean pants were at the forefront of what I was thinking!

After a while, I was settled up on a ward and, thanks to some very friendly and welcoming Nursing staff, was feeling a lot calmer. I almost enjoyed a weak cup of tea while I sat on the bed waiting for my poor husband to return the 20 or so miles to the hospital with a bag of bits and pieces to sustain my stay.

Not being used to the routine of hospital I was surprised at the frequency that everyone's blood pressure was tested and the significance placed on this – irrespective of the reason for admission to the ward. Perhaps this was an example that I really was was ignorant after all. Blood Pressure is absolutely central to our health.

The nurses became my friend but the blood pressure machine soon became my nemesis. There was something about it's noises and beeps that I came to fear, in exactly the same way I don't like the noises you hear in the cabin of an aeroplane ....I don't fly because I fear it so much. It's an insurmountable fear for me despite videos and books about the physics... and the blood pressure machine is, alas, very very similar for me.

At times the machine could not achieve a reading and while of course this was not good news, it did mean they would search out a manual cuff which was altogether a more relaxing experience for me, not that you could tell from the gravity of the readings. I wished they could use a manual cuff all the time.

I was given various medications which started to bring the pressure down but my expectations were managed; It was going to be a slow job. Firstly, it is not a good idea to bring BP down too quickly – To cut a long story short, there is a risk it could be brought too low and it can cause more problems. Additionally, it was likely that I had been operating with very high blood pressure for some time and my body had simply got used to it.

There was progress but it was slow and my overnight stay turned into four days. During my time in hospital I had an ultrasound of my kidneys as the condition could cause (or be caused by) kidney problems, a brain CT scan to check for stroke-like damage, a heart scan to identify impact on my heart and a visit to the Eye Clinic to check for damage to back of my eyes.

When then BP reading had reached a more acceptable level, I was allowed home with a cocktail of medication,which is when the side effects started to kick in.

While I was in hospital, apart from intermittent headaches and my natural sense of impending doom, I felt relatively well. I had some nice chats with the staff – All were absolutely lovely and I will always be grateful for them for their care. I spent a lot of time resting and day dreaming about faraway beaches which was helped by having a window-side bed and the spring sunshine.

The day after I got home, I started to feel a bit dizzy, dopey, forgetful, probably all of the seven dwarves and their cousins in one. I continued with intermittent headaches and slept a lot. I also had problems with my eyesight which would go what I would describe as 'fuzzy' from time to time. I could watch TV but found reading more than a sentence or two hard and tended to just close my eyes and daydream a lot.

At my first hospital review a week later, the very likable doctor chatted through my symptoms and altered my medication which helped my symptoms very much,to the extent I hoped I would soon be fit to return to work.

I had also seen one of the hospital renal dietitians who I instantly warmed to and we had a very good and open chat which I found very valuable. Its fair to say of course that diet is common sense but I did take the opportunity to soak up her vast knowledge. It was especially useful to talk about the hidden salt in food. While the media is awash with horror stories of hidden salt to the extent it's not quite as hidden as it used to be, it is still interesting to learn more about the degree to which certain of my favourite foods are riddled with it.

I have never cooked with salt or thrown it over my meals, but I do love bread, cheese, cornflakes, sauces etc...(I'm definitely a savoury kind of gal), all of which I now need to eat sparingly and probably always should have done. Being a fan of food, I am going to find this challenging but I do like a challenge.

Feeling upbeat I started to settle in back at home and relax, doing all the right things.

Another week later, however, I faced my nemesis again and the nemesis won.

Sky high blood pressure and a very deflated me.